Family is Family

It's a miracle. I spent five days away from home, attended a family reunion built around food, and continued to loose weight!

This never would have happened pre-surgery. I would have come home with at least five pounds of 'road weight'. Instead, I am down a total of 56 pounds and continuing to lose. I am excited. I am motivated. I am off to the gym.

I am learning food doesn't have to dominate my life. We have to eat. Food is the fuel that keep us going. I don't do a happy-dance every time I gas the car, and I'm learning every meal doesn't have to be an occasion. The people I'm with are what's important, and this weekend was important.

We live a long way away from Michelle's family. It's the way life works. Work, marriage, opportunity, crisis; all conspire to put distance between us. Several days of quality time with some quality people has left me wishing for more time with Michelle's side of the family. No family's perfect, but family is family.

Thank you, Beery Family, for a wonderful weekend. 


PS: No scale in Tahoe!

Goodbye Scale

We’re going to be in South Lake Tahoe Michelle’s for family reunion this weekend. As such, it is goodbye scale for me. I know the experts say not to weight yourself every day, but I need the daily aggravation. I meant motivation; I went a little Freudian there.

I’m a tightly wound, up-tight, budgeting, list making kind of guy; just ask my care free, take-it-as-it-comes wife. We’ve learn to manage and coexist, even if our orbits never quite sync. That’s what true love can do for you.

Without my scale and daily journal entries to the tenth of a pound, I’ll have to bide my time fussing over gas mileage calculations and charting the optimum miles per gallon/miles per hour curve on my smart phone. You might think I’m kidding; it’s hard living in my world. Meanwhile, Michelle will take as long as she wants at the rest areas, want to stop and see what’s over there, and generally not worry about a thing, because we’ll get there when we get there.

That’s crazy talk.

I’m thinking I could sneak the scale in with the rest of our stuff, but I’d never hear the end of it when Michelle finds it. Some things aren’t worth the aggravation, or are they?

Will he or won’t he find his weight in Lake Tahoe? Come back and we’ll find out together.

South Lake Tahoe

Doctor's appointment today; fasting blood work in the morning. The blood results will tell the story, but so far so good. I feel strong. I feel healthy.

Tomorrow evening we leave for South Lake Tahoe and Michelle's family reunion.

I am looking forward to hanging out with Michelle's family. Once every other year or so is not nearly enough. Life happens and something is aways pressing, but I'm really looking forward to stepping off and spending some quality time with the Beery clan.

It Had To Happen

It had to happen sooner or later, but I don't like it

I have hit my first weight loss plateau. After a rapid 52 pound loss my body has said enough is enough. I was warned about it. I've read about it, and still I'm a little surprised and disappointed. I was hoping to keep losing at ten pounds a week until I hit my goal weight, but that's not realistic.

The body is an amazing thing. My body thinks it is starving, so it's going to hang onto every ounce it can; in spite of my 800 calorie per day diet. And, it does this without consulting me!

I'm told in a week or two my body will give in and I'll start dropping weight again. In the meantime, I stick to the plan. Tonight was a vigorous workout at the gym and two thirds of a soft taco.





 

Willing But Weak

The mind is willing, but the stomach is weak.

The transition to solid food hasn't gone as smoothly as I'd hoped. I may go back to yogurt for a day or two.

Today I have a stomach ache.

Silly Little Test

We're in Costco this afternoon, just cruising with our cart, picking up case lots of things we don't really need; in other words a typical Costco trip. At one point Michelle stopped me and said look at this. It was a giant dog food sized bag of my favorite snack, chex mix with peanuts, pretzels and those little crunchy things with no name. My eyes locked on the bag.

"So what do you think," asks Michelle. "Do you want it?"

"I don't know. That's lot of chex mix. It would take me a year to eat that now," I replied.  

"You sure? It's a great price."

"I'm sure," and I started to push the cart down the aisle.

As we move away from the snacks, Michelle tells me it was a test. Her logic, if I could walk away from a forty pound bag of chex mix with peanuts, pretzels and those little crunchy things with no name, I was cured of my chronic compulsive overeating disorder. I asked her what she would have done if I'd failed the test. I wasn't worried she said. I know how much you can eat. That bag would have lasted forever two tablespoons at a time.

So that's the kind of relationship we have, my wife tests me with a giant bag of my favorite snack?

Ha! I laugh at her silly little test.

It's Been a Long Day

Today was the Jennings family reunion.

Tonight was Jason's thirtieth birthday party.

That's a lot of food and family for my first day back on a full diet, but I'm going to claim success.

It's been a good day. It's been a long day.

Now We Start

Tomorrow I transition to real food, just in time for the Jennings family reunion. Not that it will matter, half a cup of anything and I am full. It's a beautiful thing.

I used to be a bottomless pit. I can't be full, there's still food on the table. Now I eat a little. I stop eating. I feel full. It feels like the link missing my whole life.

Weight loss surgery has given me something I could never summon on my own: the ability to push back from the table. 

I'm excited to move on with this journey, but also a little apprehensive. It's almost like leaving the nest and safety of liquid diets, soft foods and regimented eating. I'll enjoy a little variety in my diet, especially a break from yogurt, but with it comes the responsibility to complete this journey and realize it's full potential.

Now we start.

A Big Day

Today is a big day in my journey.

It was four weeks ago today that I had weight loss surgery.

As of this morning, my total weight loss is 50.6 pounds.

Today I revel in success and good fortune. Tomorrow I start anew.

Doesn't Even Break The Top Ten

Heretofore I have discussed some of the profound changes I am experiencing due to weight loss surgery. Deep meaningful experiences that are enriching my life ways I could never anticipated. According to Michelle, the most important change in me so far has to do with snoring; more precisely, a reduction in volume and ferocity.

I'm a little ambivalent concerning this one. Frankly, it's never been a problem for me. I sleep. I snore. What's the problem? Unfortunately for Michelle, my long suffering wife, my snoring has been a persistent pain in her ears. She has even taken to wearing ear plugs at night. Nothing says sexy like industrial grade ear plugs poking out of her head.

So, of all the amazing changes I've been through in the last four weeks, the one Michelle appreciates most is a reduction in my snoring. I rarely disagree with my wife, mostly 'cause I never win, but I can tell you snoring doesn't even break the top ten for me.

Guess What, I Can

I'm closing in on two important milestones; four weeks post surgery and fifty pounds lost.

This has been one of the most amazing experiences of my life. Not like my marriage to Michelle or the birth of my children, but a rebirth of sorts for my self. I am lighter on my feet and lighter in my spirit. My goal was health and life without strings and right now a world of possibilities lies before me.

Several months ago a dear family friend suggested I might be depressed. I bristled at the notion. Now looking back, I'm quite sure she was right. I carried my weight in my abdomen, and in my soul. Mine was a case of the mind is willing, but the body's fat. It was a burden I felt far beyond my aching knees and back.

This morning I watched the sun rise over Mt Pilchuck. As the sun hit my face, I thought, I should take a hike up there. Guess what, I can.

Life is Good

Slow Monday; not much to say.

Just a another Monday at work.

I swam and cycled at the gym after work.

I had a Hebrew National hotdog for dinner.

Like I said; not much to say.

Did I mention, life is good.

Saggy Bottom Pants

Michelle was determined not to see me in saggy bottom pants one more day.

I was equally resolute in not spending any money until my weight bottomed out.

Our compromise; some new clothes.

Gotta love my wife.


Here's the score so far: my weight is down forty-eight pounds, and my waist has gone from 44" to 38".


It's been a good day.

A Day Well Lived

Today has been amazing.

Michelle and I started at the Gym where I spent half an hour on a cycle, followed by ten minutes of rowing, and then finished-up in the pool. Some time in the spa with Michelle, and I was done.

Then out to lunch where I poached a few bites from Michelle's plate and was fully satisfied. We are going to save a ton on dining; going with one plate instead of two.

Next was Edmond's waterfront where were we walked the full length to the park and back. The exercise was nice, but walking and talking in the afternoon sun was the perfect way to spend time together.

I have to say, is was a day well lived.

Nothing Short of a Miracle

Today is the three week anniversary of my weight loss surgery. It has turned out to be a life changing event.

I have lost 44.4 pounds so far, which include the two week pre-op diet.

I am off blood pressure medicine. After years of hypertension and medication, my blood pressure is in the normal range.

Most significant and hardest to quantify, is my mental and emotional outlook on food. I have not experienced hunger since waking from surgery. I am a person who was ruled by his stomach. Food was my passion. Food was my hobby. Food was my master. If there was a cookie on the table, I was going to eat it. If there were twenty cookies on the table, I was going to eat all of them. It wasn't a matter of hunger; it was opportunity and a primeval hitch in my brain. I cannot begin to describe the liberation of being freed from nagging hunger and the compulsion to eat.

It is nothing short of a miracle.

Yeah!

I feel good. Hydration is good. No complaints here.

I think you call this recovery.

Yeah!

No Need to Panic

For the first time since I started the pre op diet almost five weeks ago, my weight is up; just two pounds. No need to panic. Yesterday I received 4.2 lbs of fluid via IV and have been power sipping ever since. I think I slosh when I walk. My blood work is all in the normal range so my diminished diet is not an immediate concern. What is a concern: dehydration.

Even with this latest hiccup, I have no regrets. I'm getting stronger and a little lighter every day. Well, almost every day.

I'm at peace with the path I've chosen. This is working for me.

I Feel Good

Apparently my little jaunt up the Meadowdale Beach trail was a little more than what the doctor ordered.

I haven't felt right since we got home Saturday afternoon. In keeping my word to Michelle, I called the doctor this morning. I arrived about 9:00 AM for what I thought would be a quick visit. Two liters of saline IV, countless blood pressure checks, an EEG and complete blood work later, I was finally able to go.

But here's the good news; after only two and weeks post surgery I am off blood pressure medication. I've been taking BP meds for years and now I'm in the low normal range.

Weight loss surgery goal number one: check. Off the BP meds.

It might just be the IV fluids coursing through my veins, but I feel good tonight.

A Bit of a Struggle

It's been a bit of a struggle today. I think yesterday's adventure may have been a little too much too soon.

I've been light-headed and struggling with calories all day.

Tomorrow I'll call the doctor and we'll get this sorted out.

Get On With Life

Michelle & I decided to hike the Meadowdale Beach trail this afternoon. It's only a mile and a quarter each direction, but the first half mile descent is brutal. After a couple hours and a picnic lunch I couldn't eat, we started up the hill.

The first half mile the trail rolls along the low-lands; easy. Then the trail gets serious. I made it, but not until several little old ladies passed me on the steeps. Being to stubborn goat I'm told I am, I did it with out relinquishing our pack full of camera gear and picnic stuff.

Stubborn goat; sucking wind; struggling to stay hydrated: it was worth it. It felt good to be out in the world doing real world stuff, instead of feeling like a patient.

I'm ready. Let's get on with life!

Soft Foods

Tomorrow is a milestone in my weight loss surgery journey; I transition to soft foods.

The big advantage, as far as I can see, it will be easier to get enough calories in, especially protein. The addition of tuna and thinly sliced deli meats should help the cause, but I still don't 'feel' like eating.

Tonight Michelle and I were having a conversation concerning my daily calorie intake when she burst out laughing. A quick rewind of our conversation revealed me saying,

"Please don't make me eat again."

She couldn't believe the words came out of my mouth.

"Where has my husband gone?"

I'm still here, just a little less of me every day.


By the way, I couldn't do this without Michelle.

Nothing Short of a Miracle

First and foremost; happy Independence Day, especially those who are serving our Country and away from family and all they love and hold dear. Thank you!


Michelle & I celebrated the Fourth with a late afternoon lunch on the deck of Ivar's. Instead of my usual bowl of chowder, sourdough rolls, fish-n-chips and whatever I could scavenge from Michelle's side of the table, I had a cup of crab bisque. I was able eat maybe a quarter cup of the rich, delicious soup before throwing in the napkin. I was full. I was satisfied. I did not covet the wonderful meal Michelle enjoyed. I was perfectly happy with the meal and the experience.

Weight loss surgery has changed my life. Not just the 39 lbs I've lost so far, but because of the way it has changed my view of food. In my mind it is nothing short of a miracle. My only regret is that I didn't find a way years earlier. However, that isn't going to stop me from each day forward to the absolute fullest.


Happy Fourth of July. Be safe.

I'm Good

Off work early today; the old me:

Hmmmm. I should stop for a little snack. It's going to be hours until dinner. I'll just get a shake, or maybe a coke. Maybe it makes sense to get a meal; it's a better value. Good for me, at least I didn't super-size it.

And then ten minutes later:

Frustration and self-loathing set in; why do I do this to myself???


Off work early today; the new me:

I'm good.

Life Is Good

It's still warm.

I'm still losing.

I'm getting stronger every day.

Life is good!

All Is Well

Back to work today; grateful for a week off, paid.


Still too warm for my liking. It's better than cold rain, so what am I complaining about.


Checked my BP today: 100/50! I'm going to have to have my meds adjusted; already!


Still a struggle to get enough calories in. Can you believe I said that!


Down thirty six pounds this morning.