Right Here In Front Of Me

The book of my life, at least to this point, can be broken into a few easily defined chapters.

I was born into an idyllic childhood. I was surrounded by parents, grandparents and a host of aunts, uncles, cousins and my sister. We lived in a world of church, family, friends, gatherings, Sunday dinners, love and acceptance. My father gave me a love for adventure, the outdoors and doing things rather than reading about them or waiting for the movie.

Miss-guided, self-absorbed and reckless describe my youth and into my early thirties. It was a time spent skiing, sailing, playing guitar and generally avoiding any premise of responsibility. I suppose I wasn't really that different for a lot of guys who work hard, play harder and then look back at themselves with a measure of disdain and regret.

I would describe the middle years as the lost years if it weren't for marriage to my wife, Michelle. As I focused more and more on career my weight ballooned out of control. At some point I could hardly climb a flight of stairs, let alone partake in any meaningful sport or exercise. With every pound gained my self-image eroded, to the point of being anti-social. Michelle was my safe zone and I clung to her like she was the last life-jacket on the Titanic - not healthy for me or our marriage.

June 20, 2013; a trip to Mexico; an encounter with a surgeon; an an unbelievable new chapter begins. Slowly at first, and then with a rush, life returns; not only to my body, but to my soul, my very being. Michelle would tell people, "The surgeon operated on Linn's stomach, but the changes are in his mind."

I can't undo all the pain and stupid things I've done in the past. I regret them, I'm sorry for them, but I can't change them. I can't live my life in rear view. Yesterday is gone. My life starts fresh each morning with a new opportunity to be a better person than I was the day before. I'm not perfect. I don't always meet the quota, but I'm determined to never go back.

My family; my wife; my life; they're all right here in front of me!