Wednesday, October 16, 2013

I Miss That Guy


It’s been a crazy couple of days, but that’s all behind me now.

On with life; what a good life it is. It’s been a long time coming, but all is good in all I survey.

Don’t get me wrong, my life wasn't bad. In fact, in earlier writings I've repeatedly referred to myself as a ‘lucky man’. It wasn't wishful thinking; it was true to the moment. I have an awesome wife. I have a great family. I was healthy enough, or so I thought. There were tough times, but isn't that life? Overall, life was good, right?

Looking back it seems so obvious. I was always the guy in the back row of every photograph. I rarely smiled. I looked for any excuse to avoid social situations, especially with people I didn't already know.  I leaned on my wife life she was the last life jacket on a sinking ship because that’s one of the few places I felt truly comfortable. Looking back; I lived my life in hiding. With every pound my confidence eroded. With every pound my ability to live the life I loved diminished. With every pound I became a little less of whom I was. 

I've lost eighty-three pounds so far and I feel like I can fly. The sunshine is warmer. The rain is sweeter and every day is a new opportunity; superlative, I know. However, I cannot overstate the positive impact this experience has had on my life. It has been so much more than a surgical procedure and shrinking waistline. It’s been about finding me. 

It turns out I missed that guy more than I knew. 




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